jeopardy

gestern war ich zur abwechslung mal wieder in der uni, zu einem englischkurs. natürlich zum thema weihnachten. der dozent gab uns worte beziehungsweise wortverbindungen, die wir in einem weihnachtskrimi verarbeiten sollten. den erguss meiner schriftstellerischen 20 minuten zeit kännt ihr im anhang lesen. damit verbunden eröffne ich einen wettbewerb: derjenige, der mir die 8 worte oder wortverbindungen richtig nennt, erhält besuch vom lobita'schen weihnachtsmann. in diesem sinne: merry fu...ing x-mas:

I woke up in the middle of the night with a grumbling stomach. What I normally do, is what I did that special night, too. My feet automatically led me to the kitchen. On the shelf stood the box with self-made crunchy cookies and the fridge already chilled the milk. I lit a candle and sat at the table.

The clock stroked three in the morning; everything was quiet. Suddenly, I thought a reindeer was looking through the window at me – grinning – and with a blinking nose. Even though, I have never met that animal before, I knew his name was Rudolf.

I invited Rudolf to join me in the kitchen and as I had to realize: he was such a sweetie, more like an angel really. He entered the room with an icicle between his teeth, shaped like a rose. He gave it to me and I felt happy.

What else was there to do than to change the location and step over to the living room? We made ourselves comfortable on the sofa, just next to the beautifully ornamented Christmas tree.

Time passed and I fell asleep.

When I woke up the second time that night, I felt something cold at my temple. Thinking, it was Rudolf’s nose, I smiled and said “hm”. I opened my eyes and saw down the barrel of a pistol. The pistol was pointed at me by nobody else than Santa Claus – and he was yelling: “You stole my reindeer, you stole my reindeer, you – beep - !” In the meantime, Rudolf lay without consciousness on the floor. I had to think. Think fast. Faster.

In a Wicky-the-Viking-way, I was rubbing my nose until I saw the red and blue stars. I pulled my wallet, got out my credit card and paid Santa Claus for Rudolf. We had a deal.

What then happened? Well, I had reindeer meat from Christmas to New Year’s Eve…